The musings of a new graduate student

As I was packing my backpack tonight, getting ready for my first day of graduate school, I reflected a lot about the long path that has brought me to this point.

I thought about the last 8 years, 7 of which were filled with an effort to complete my bachelor's degree. I thought about that day 4 months ago when I finally was able to proudly walk across the stage and receive my diploma. I thought about how I finally was accepting the idea that I had actually graduated, and how weird it was that I was still about to start school.

 I thought about all of my other first days and all the emotions that came with each of them - excitement, dread (yes, I admit it), anxious, nervous. Each semester brought another step on the seemingly never ending road to completion.

But I finished and now I'm moving forward and continuing my education.

The emotions for this first day are similar, but in a different way. I'm mostly excited. Excited of the uncertainty of it all. Excited for the chance to learn more and to shape my knowledge to lead me to new and great things.

I've had so many changes lately. I'd had my very first full time job for 2 months, my very own apartment for 1 month (along with it a new ward and new friends) and I'm about to start a new program at a new school with new teachers. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous or anxious; change is scary. So far though, the changes have been good and I'm sure starting my Master's will be just as good.

Here's to the next adventure.

The Next Big Step

The past six months have been just crazy! Senior year was way more stressful than I thought it would be. I don't think I've even been that stressed in my life. But I made it through!

 

This semester I worked on my senior project, which was a documentary on interactions between those with and without disabilities. It was a lot of work but it was well worth it! Watch it below or follow this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tilzwtn1KrY

Two days before graduation, I started at a new job. It's non profit called Child Rescue dedicated to fighting child sex trafficking located in Salt Lake. If you wanna check them out, here's their website: http://www.childrescueassociation.org/. Right now I'm doing part time but it will develop into a full time position. I'll be doing a variety of things involving anything from communications to marketing or whatever they need help with.

On the same day as graduation, I got a call from Westminster College in Salt Lake and they told me that I got accepted! I'm going to be getting a Masters of Arts in Community Leadership. It's basically a combination of communication, marketing and business with a goal towards working with nonprofits. I'm going to be meeting with the program director this coming week to plan my fall semester. I'm super excited for it! So look for another graduation announcement in two years!

Since both my job and my school will be in Salt Lake, I'm working on moving up there. There aren't any solid plans at all, but it's in the works. I'm going to miss being down in Provo/Orem, but I'm excited to see where my life goes in the next few months!

Now I just need to figure out a method to be able to most a little more often than twice a year...

Learning and growing from the past

Over four years ago, I heard some news that shook my world and turned it upside down. It took me a little while to get over it and figure out why it had to happen. I was ashamed though because I brought it upon myself so I kept it to myself except for a few select people. But I'm finally ready to talk about it.

Beginning of 2010 I was at BYU-Idaho in a tough semester on my very last thread of sanity. I had two jobs and was taking 18 credits. I was on my fifth full time semester in a row with. Then at the beginning of the semester my brace broke so I had to traipse up and down the snowy hills with poor balance. I also wasn't as good as I thought I was at balancing my desire to have a busy schedule.

So I put a lot of things upon myself without the tools necessary to handle it all. I did it to myself and I know it.

I ended up not doing as well on my grades as I thought I did. I got put on academic suspension. I had to leave BYUI for a year and get at least a 2.0 GPA with at least 12 credits at another school before I could go back.

I was devastated and embarrassed. I had to call home and tell my parents what happened and suddenly figure out what I was going to do with my life for the next year. I knew I could go stay with my family but after living on my own I didn't want to do that unless I needed to. Luckily for me I had a family I was close with that let me come stay with them in Spanish Fork for a bit while I found a job and a place to live.

Two months later, I had a job and an apartment. I got started at the nearby university towards the end of my year requirement so that I could go back to my beloved school.

But to my surprise, when my year was up I didn't want to leave.

I had grown attached to my new life in Utah. I had made some great friends and new connections and I loved it. Then I got confirmation that I did need to stay.

So I stayed. I wasn't sure why but for some reason I needed to stay. The longer I stayed, the more I loved it.

Still though, I hid my reasoning for leaving Idaho. I avoided the question and kept it a secret from anyone who I deemed "unworthy" to know.

But I have finally moved on.

It's taken a while, but I am done hiding. I may not be proud of my prior mistakes, but I have overcome them, learned from them and grown from them.

It may have taken longer than I originally planned, but I'm graduating in April in a field that I never before imagined me loving. From leaving Idaho, I took off my career blinders and allowed myself to develop other talents I had and some that I didn't know I had. And because of that, I'm grateful that I had to leave Idaho. Because of that window opening, I have made some of the best friends that I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky to have them.

The amazing thing that I didn't realize until recently was how much I have focused on doing the best that I could and how much that effort was paying off.

Wednesday, October 22 I was inducted into the Lambda Pi Eta: Alpha Beta Beta, a National Honor Society. In order to be eligible for this, you had to be a junior or senior, have at least a 3.0 overall GPA, at least a 3.25 GPA in your communication core and be in the top 1/3 of the graduating class. Once you join the society, you are a lifetime member. I also will wear honor cords with my cap and gown at graduation.

It was after receiving notice about being eligible for this society that I realized how far I have come. Never mind that it took me 7 years to graduate. I have been on the path that I needed to be on the whole time. My mind just didn't catch up with it until now.

Upcoming status: Amanda Hollman, proud graduate with honor society standing and a lot of life experience under her belt and unashamed of her past.

The Sleep Deprived Lifestyle of a College Senior

While writing once a month isn't prime, at least it's better than before! I'm really trying to do better with updating this but with my crazy life it gets difficult.

This semester hit the ground running without much time to catch up with it. While I love all my classes, they are a lot of work. Both of my art classes give assignments over the weekend to work on, and they are typically not quick ones. My PR class has a quiz each day on the chapter we had to read, which is never short. Comm law is just plain intense (I mean, it's law so really it's expected). My theories class requires the least amount of work and I really enjoy what I'm learning so that's not bad at all. All in all, I'm pretty busy with school but I'm learning a lot and I am enjoying it all so I try not to complain too much.

Despite the workload, I am so glad that I chose to take my two art classes. I have learned so much about different techniques and it's helped develop my skills. I'll post pictures of them when I get them back from portfolio so you guys can give me feedback too :)

A couple weeks ago I got the chance to meet one of my heroes: Noelle Pikus-Pace. If you don't know who she is, I'll give you a brief recap. She got the silver medal in the 2014 Olympics for the US. A few years ago she was badly injured when a bobsled ran off course and ran into her leg-ya, serious broken bones-but she pulled through it like a champ and went back to the Olympics. She also went to UVU when it was UVSC and she was the keynote speaker for a leadership training last year. Ever since then I have wanted to meet her.

A few months ago I sent her a message via her website just telling her that I admire her and a little about my life. She sent me a sweet message in reply.

She came to the Deseret Book near my house to do a book signing and I was super excited and determined to fit it in my schedule. I had a Relief Society activity that I was partially in charge of that started a half hour after the book signing started. So I got to the store early to make sure that I was in the beginning of the line. Since I was 3rd in line, I got up to the table pretty quickly. She was really nice and in the conversation I mentioned the message she had sent me. It just took a couple words for her to remember who I was and she stopped signing and said she had to give me a hug.

It was a great experience. Plus, I even made it to my activity with a little time to spare.

When she realized who I was

This past weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to go up to Rexburg to escort my sister through the temple. It was so good to be able to be there and to help her with that experience. It was a short weekend but it was definitely great. I also got to participate with many others in Utah in the re-dedication of the Ogden, Utah temple. I forgot how much I love those meetings. It was truly a blessing to be able to attend in my stake center that acted as an extension of the temple.

PS, I was slouching-she is so not that much taller than me!

I look forward to plowing forward with this semester and the wonderful adventures that are in store!

Kicking off Senior Year

A few weeks ago I was talking with my friend about how we were both heading into our senior year of our undergrad and realizing that in less than a year we would hopefully have a full time job and figuring out what we're doing with the rest of our lives.

It's quite intimidating actually. I mean, I've been going to school for 6 years (it'll be 7 when I finish) and I don't really know how to live life without going to school. I did do it for a year when I moved to Utah so I could get in-state tuition but let's face it, I was a bump on a log that year working part time and really doing nothing else. We're talking about the real world here! It's crazy.

Well in this conversation with my friend I told her that I'd probably have major senioritis since I've been going to school for so long. She said something that changed my perspective on this final year:

It's the last year before everything changes. We'll never be in this situation again; make the most of it.

I've been pondering that thought since that conversation and it has really got me charged up for this year. I am so excited to see what I can learn, what experiences I can have and what life has in store for me both while I finish up my bachelor's degree and what comes after.

I headed to my first day of classes with this new found energy and drive. It made all the difference: I am so stoked for this semester! I'm working on classes for both my major (journalism) and my minor (digital media-where I'm taking web classes and art classes to get graphic design skills) so I have a few of each kind this semester.

My first class of the week is 2D Design. We were only in class for 20 minutes (it's usually a 2 1/2 hour class) before he let us out to get supplies but I'm so excited for it! We get to draw, paint and I'm not even sure what else we're doing but I'm excited to see my art skills develop over the course of the semester.

After that art class I go to Theories of Communication and Culture. I was a little intimidated for the class before I even went because it just sounds intense but from the moment I got in the classroom I changed my mind. The teacher is energetic and so happy to be there. There are at least a half dozen students who have taken at least 1 class from her before and they raved about her classes. I know a few people in the class too so that'll be helpful.

My first class of the alternate days is Basic Drawing. This is a drawing class for non-majors and it's all about learning skills to draw. There students vary from "I know I can't draw" to a girl who was sketching while we waited for the teacher to come and since I'm in between those levels, I totally feel comfortable in that group. The professor said that his goal for the semester is to improve our drawing and he said that we should be able to see an improvement in just 3 weeks. Like I said for my other art class, I'm excited to see how I'll improve. The teacher also said that taking these 2 art classes together is super helpful since they teach similar things but in different ways.

Next I go to Free Expression in a Democratic Society. Yes, it is as intimidating as it sounds haha. This is a law based class, especially about the first amendment, so that as journalists we know what rights we do and do not have. The class is based almost entirely on tests (best 2 of 3 exams, a quiz, a small assignment and coming to class) so I'll be studying a bunch this semester.

My last class is Public Relations. I'm taking this with a newspaper friend of mine, which will be great so we can study together. The teacher has all kinds of experience in the field and he just loves what he does.

I found a website/app that you put in all of your homework assignments and it helps keep you and your deadlines organized. It works on my laptop, tablet and phone, which is really nice for whatever device I happen to be using at the time. So far it seems like it's my style of organization so I'm excited to see how it'll help keep me balanced and not to procrastinate.

I'm again on the UVU Review staff, this time as the Culture Editor (basically, online only Lifestyle section). My section covers primarily the arts with other culture like stuff in the mix too. It's been slow this summer but it'll get rolling in September so that'll be a fun addition to my semester and my senior year.

Well, I hope to update this throughout the semester to let you know how it's going, but I'm not guaranteeing anything because I don't have a very good track record at keeping this up haha.

Here's to having a great second to last semester!

Making the most of my little infinity

This weekend I saw The Fault in Our Stars for the second time (yes, I have seen it twice). The first time was all about the story and tears. This second time gave me time to contemplate the meaning behind the story more, and it definitely had some personal comparison to it.

If you haven't seen it yet, don't worry. I'm not gonna give anything away-no spoilers here! (I kept it vague).

To give you a little background, the movie is about two teenagers, Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters, who have cancer and fall in love. It's definitely a chick flick-tissues recommended!

During the film, I found myself comparing Hazel's thoughts and experiences to how I frequently feel in my life. Between her frequent doctor appointments and looks she gets from other people who don't know what's going on, I definitely sympathized with her (on a different level but even still, I understood).

After hearing some bad news, Hazel admitted to Augustus that she "[didn't] really want this particular life." She was feeling especially depressed because of the bad news so she probably was exaggerating, but to a small degree she really did mean it.

I'll admit that when I saw and heard this scene, I thought "ya, I've been there." When several disappointing things happen in a short period of time, it brings even the optimistic of people down.

It didn't take me long to think of all the good that has come from me having the life I do. Yes, at times I have wished that I wasn't born with MD, but I always remember how incredibly blessed I have been because of the experiences I've had from the cards that have been dealt in my life. Luckily, the depressing side of me doesn't come out often and when it does appear I have great friends that help pull me back up.

There is a scene where Hazel goes to a place that doesn't have an elevator so she has to climb a bunch of stairs (well, she chose to go knowing there was a bunch of steep stairs). Now, Hazel has breathing problems (hence the oxygen tube under her nose) so stairs are a challenge for her. Not wanting to be defeated, she braves the stairs despite the fact that she struggles to breathe throughout the climb. Plus, she's stubborn and wants to carry her oxygen bag herself and climb the stairs without help. Eventually she gives in and lets someone carry her bag while Gus makes sure that she's ok and encourages her.

Like Hazel, while stairs are possible for me to do, a bunch of stairs is a challenge. I hate asking for help and accepting help when offered requires me to give up some of my independence. Plus, I'm also super stubborn (though I've gotten better since living with a certain friend who helped me tone it down). The whole scene I sympathized with her and her dedication to accomplish the task, no matter how difficult it was. Along with her, I realized that when you let someone else take some of the load it benefits both parties, not a surrender of willpower. It was an epiphanic moment for me, realizing that when I hold up a group behind me that they really don't mind as much as I think they do and that those who offer help aren't just asking out of pity but that they really do care and want to help ease my burden.

I love Hazel and Gus' relationship. She has a little bit of a pessimistic view of life while he tends to be an optimist. When she tries to push him away telling him that she's a grenade that's going to explode and she is trying to "minimize the casualties," he doesn't care and continues to pursue her anyway because "it'd be a privilege to have [his] heart broken by [her]." They balance each other out well, pulling each other up as needed.

While I do not yet have a significant other to keep my little pessimistic side in check, I do have my Savior and the friends He has given me to help pull me up when I'm down. I'm ever so appreciative of them and their ability to know just what to say to help get me back up.

To tie it all together, I'll use the same example that Hazel did in one scene. Math.

"There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or 0 and a million. Some infinities are simply bigger than other infinities...I want more numbers than I'm likely to get...I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity."

While my infinity (here in mortality) isn't likely to be as big as others', I'm so grateful for my little infinity and I'm determined to make the most of it. I want to live my life as Gus said: "I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up," focusing on the climb and the adventure of life, rather than wishing and hoping for something else that is seemingly better. The life that we're living may have its bumps and may not seem to be the brightest crayon in the box, but that doesn't make it any less valuable than another. Everyone has their part to play and they will grow to be something grand.

"It is a good life, Hazel Grace." Yes, Augustus, it is. It's a very good life and I intend to make the most of my little infinity.

I have been blessed

♫ I have been blessed ♫

And I feel like I’ve found my way

I thank God for all I’ve been given

At the end of every day

I have been blessed

With so much more than I deserve

To be here with the ones

That love me

To love them so much it hurts

I have been blessed

This chorus is seriously how I feel right now about my life. I have so much going on in my life and I should be feeling stressed out but instead I feel incredibly blessed. Let me explain.

In October, I got the feeling that it was probably time to move out of the Orem YSA 32 ward. I had this thought before, though after ponder and prayer I got the answer that I needed to stay a while longer. This time that the feeling came, my answer was confirmed that I needed to move.

The very night that I decided to move out I set up 5 appointments to look at apartments in Provo. I looked at one duplex that night and ended up deciding to move there since it was a great place. Perfect location, my own room, laundry a few feet away from my bedroom, a piano, lots of room and all at a fantastic price.

I bought a contract from a girl who was getting married though at the time she didn’t have a place to move into yet. The estimated move in date I was given was 5 weeks after my other apartment ended so I ended up being technically homeless.

Luckily for me, I have great friends that let me sleep over or offered to. I was able to move in after just 2 weeks of living out of my car. While I miss my old ward and roommates but this place has been fantastic.

In August I had the wonderful experience of being able to go through the temple. Mom and Dad got to come out and go with me along with other friends who could go. It was a great experience and I have loved every time I’ve gone since.

Soon after that, I got to go with Maddie to get hers before her mission and Lauren and Krista for theirs before they got married. Being able to be there for my friends in their special moments was an experience I wouldn’t trade for the world.

On Friday the 17^th, I had an interview for an internship at KSL news and while I was there they gave it to me! They have me doing a hybrid of social media for them and writing. I started on Tuesday and it has been fantastic so far. I go up there in Salt Lake Mondays through Fridays in the evenings. I decided to take the FrontRunner train rather than drive so that I don’t have to deal with gas money, traffic and possibly driving drowsy since I get out late. They gave me a pass for the train and I have been able to do homework during my commute, which is really helpful.

Now that I have this internship, my life is extremely busy. With the internship and the school paper, I now have 18 credits. Depending on the day, I leave my place at 8:30 or 11. I go to my classes and work in the dean’s office and Salt Lake then I don’t get home from the train until about 1am. It is quite a long day but I have managed this week and I m confident that I can handle it all.

For general conference in April, the Orem Institute gets to sing in the Saturday afternoon session. They are the only institute that does not need to combine with another to have enough people. There were auditions since so many people would want to join and they had to be sure that those who would be in the choir could sing.

I felt like I should audition and since they were before I even applied for the internship, I knew my schedule would allow for it. When the auditions were over, I found out that I made it into the choir. I am honored to have this opportunity to bear my testimony through song to the world.

All in all, I am so busy that my only free time is on Saturdays but I am so happy right now. I feel strongly that Heavenly Father is watching over me and guiding me through my life, making sure that I have the experiences, opportunities, challenges and everything else that I need in my life. I couldn’t ask for anything more than that.

❤ ﭢ ❤

Life is good!

Yet again, I fail at writing on here! I think about it but then I get caught up in other things and don't get around to it. Here I am to update you on my life since it has been over a year since I have updated.

In December 2012. I got my Associates of Arts. I am so glad to finally have gotten a degree. I was beginning to feel like I had been going to school for forever and had nothing to show for it.

Coming April 2015: Bachelor of Arts in Communication with a concentration in Journalism and a minor in Digital Media. I am so very excited to announce this to everyone. This is updated as of last week. I started writing for the UVU in February 2013 and I quickly grew to love it. I took a shot in the dark and applied for a scholarship staff position for this next school year and I made it! I am the Assistant Opinions Editor for the 2013-2014 school year. I will be regularly writing articles and helping the editor in editing the pieces and coming up with ideas for stories. I had a minor in Spanish, but I started to explore other options when I completed the Spanish courses I needed for my generals. The program at UVU caters to those students who have been immersed in the language so those of us who have not had that experience have so much more work to do. I have taken enough classes that I feel confident enough in my Spanish to continue to learn and practice on my own to get what I need done in my life with it. The journalism program suggested taking some digital media courses to be helpful in the world as a journalist. I looked up the classes that I could take and I loved them! With my previous background with working with computers, it shouldn't be too difficult. I'm excited for the courses that I will be taking for the next 4 semesters.

In November 2012, I was frustrated enough with my call center job that I decided to get a seasonal job just to remind me that I really did like my job at the call center. Well, the day after I signed employment papers with Bath and Body Works at my local mall, I found out that the call center would be closing down in just over a week. I was shocked at how blessed I had been to be able to get a new job just in time. I got to stay there after the season was over and I have now been working there for 7 months. It is often tiring since I am on my feet the entire time, but my managers are really helpful in making sure that I get the breaks I need and that I don't work too long of shifts.

This summer, I am not taking classes since non of them were available for me to take. As a result, I was pretty bored for a while. Work at Bath and Body Works slowed down and I had very little to do. I had been casually looking for a second job but I was being picky, looking for a desk job that I would be able to sit for the majority of the time. After asking many times, there was finally a position available for the job I had been wanting for a while. I am now an assistant to the assistant to the dean in the college of technology and computing on UVU campus (did you follow that? haha). Lauren had this job last summer and loved it and ever since I had hoped to be able to get in. It's just the right position for me. I answer the phone and do other tasks that my immediate supervisor needs. Now I am being productive and making money at the same time! As of now, it's not for sure if I'll be able to stay in the fall, but we are trying to make my schedule work with the schedule for the office. If I am able to keep it, I will probably only work at BBW on Friday and Saturdays since the office job is Mon-Fri 3-6 and I will be in classes.

My roommate, Valerie was in a documentary photography project this summer and for it she had several projects she needed to do. One of them was for a cause, which she asked me if I'd be the subject for. Though the class is over, she wants to continue the project. She posted the project as of now on her blog. If you want to take a look, here is the link: http://thelife200.blogspot.com/2013/06/amanda-hollman-muscular-dystrophy.html.

I should update you all in about 2 weeks. My little brothers are going to come out to Utah to visit with me for a week then I'm going to go back to Colorado for a week and spend some quality time with my family. I should have lots of stories after that adventure!

Family Search Pun

It's been a while since I've posted. Sorry! I just wanted to share this picture that I made ;-)

Have a wonderful day!!

New Year, New Adventures

And...I fail at keeping up a blog haha. My bad!! A lot has happened in my life since December! Haha. Let me try to catch you up.

I moved in with 2 of my great friends that I've met here in Orem and I'm loving it. It is worth the 32 stairs to get up there. I decided that it is the best apartment location cuz it has a parking spot for me right in front, the mailboxes are right there too, and the office and laundry are at the bottom. Totally worth it. I have just loved living with these amazing girls. They have made my life so much better :)

This semester I am almost done with my generals and I am so excited to only have 2 left! I feel like I have been doing them forever so it'll be nice to be done. I applied to BYU but I have too many credits so I didn't get accepted so I am going to complete my degree here at UVU. I decided back in my freshman year of high school that I wanted to be an elementary school teacher and then I put blinders up to any other options. Since I have to start over with my major classes, I decided it would be a good idea to open my eyes to what other things I enjoy and could major in. I am taking a public speaking class this semester and I love it! I went and talked to a counselor and decided that I loved it enough to make it my major! He said that a lot of employers look for speech and writing skills so I will have lots of options for a career. I don't know exactly what I want to do with it yet, but I have been looking and there are many things that I could choose from so I'm looking forward to what is in store for me :)

This year, I also became a business woman! I decided to become a Mary Kay independent beauty consultant and in the 2 months that I have been doing it, I love it! I am in a great unit that teaches me a lot about how to be successful and so far, I am in the process of earning my very first career car!! (yes, I can earn a free car from the company). I am excited! I have 3 team members so far and I look forward to my future in this business.

I also got released from being the Relief Society president in my ward. It has taken some getting used to not knowing what I don't need to know, but I do enjoy just being part of the congregation again. The new president is amazing (of course I am not biased at all, being that she is my amazing roommate). I am now the employment specialist and am learning what my duties are for that calling.

Well, that is pretty much what I have been doing the past 3 months since I last posted. At least that's my stories summed up into a few paragraphs haha. I will try to keep you better updated since I know many of you don't see me on a regular basis and want to know what is going on in my life :)

Lights, Friends, and Controlling the Weather

So I wasn't home much again yesterday but I'm writing again and it's only been a week! Score!

So Monday, we had FHE at Bishops house so Lyndsie and I went to drive up to the church and my car wouldn't start. Again. We got a ride from someone else up to the church and I rode with Maddie to Bishop's. We had dinner and played some get to know you games. Then Maddie brought my car back to life and I drove it around for like an hour to make sure it wouldn't die. On my drive, I got some pretty pictures!

The Provo temple all lit up and gorgeous.

The Riverwoods had lights all over and it was pretty :)

Tuesday, had work and school like usual. Then went over to B1223 for breakfast food and games with friends that night. We watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers while making snowflakes (I worked on homework). Not much else to post about for that day.

Wednesday went to the temple with Maddie as usual but got some pretty pictures! The sun was gorgeous against the clouds before we went and the temple had put a nativity scene out. I also found out that my braces were done! I made an appointment for Monday (they weren't quite ready for me that day or I totally would have gone that very day haha).

(Maddie has an even better one of this shot but I'm waiting to get it from her)

Thursday, I had a math test (which I felt totally prepared for until I started then I felt like I forgot everything). I worked then I packed up my dishes to move them to my new place. Not too exciting of a day haha.

 Friday, yet another day of school and work. I found out that I did fairly well on my math test :) Went over to B1223 after work to move my dishes in there and ended up hanging out to make ornaments with candy canes. 

My candy cane reindeer :)

Lauren's cute penguin candy cane

Saturday, there was an ice skating activity. I planned to go just to hang out since I am missing a brace but of course being me, I can't just sit on the sidelines. I decided to give it a try with only having one brace and to my disbelief, I was able to do it! I went around 3 times and was throughly exhausted but it was fun! I had given my camera to a friend so we got some pictures!

Skating with Lyndsie

Lauren, Millie, Gaetana, me (left to right)

Sunday, I had my meetings and church. Even though I'm hungry, I love fast Sundays. My stomach growled several times during sacrament meeting, which made Mary chuckle, but it was good. The stake RS presidency came and taught us about modesty. They did a very good job at teaching about it bluntly but not awkwardly. The First Presidency Christmas Devotional was that night and as always it was very good.

To others dismay, it still has not snowed. We have been joking that I have been controlling the weather because I said that it can't snow till after I get my braces and the few times that it has snowed, it's been at night and hasn't stuck. Even when the weather says that we're going to have a major snow, it hasn't come. Since I'm getting my braces in just a few hours, we're pretty convinced that it's gonna come very soon haha. I am so glad it hasn't come though cuz I don't think I would do very good with one brace and snow. This past week was good and I hope this one will be just as grand! Happy Holidays!

Catch Up Time!!

I realized that I haven't posted in a really really long time! I was gonna post yesterday but I wasn't home much. Anyway, time to catch up!

Since I posted last, I have moved into another apartment in my ward (and am going to move into a different one next month haha). I am still the Relief Society president in my ward while going to school full time and working part time. This semester has flown by!! Seriously, I could have sworn that yesterday was September but it's practically December! Before we know it, it'll be Christmas. Crazy!

About 2 months ago, my left brace broke for good. It's been broken for about 2 years but it broke to the point that I can't even wear it anymore cuz it won't bend at all. I've been using my wheelchair except when I go into apartments or just short trips and then I walk since I still have my right brace. On Halloween I got the casting done to get new braces so now I'm just anxiously waiting for the call that my new pair of braces are done :D

Monday was just a typical Monday, long. I went to classes and didn't have work. Maddie invited me to go to her dance competition so that was fun to see. Pretty much that's all that happened on Monday.

This past weekend was Thanksgiving weekend and I was able to spend it with my dear sister, Lexi. She came down on Tuesday night and we just hung out all weekend. After she got into town on Tuesday, I took her and Ellyn (Lexi's roommate/best friend) to In 'N Out then dropped Ellyn off at her aunt's house in Provo. Then we went to Lauren, Amelia and Mary's place (where I'm moving into next month) and watched Princess Bride. Lexi didn't want to leave so we ended up sleeping over.

Wednesday, we went to Ikea. Lexi had been asking me if we could go since she loves that place so that's how I got her up that morning haha. As soon as I said let's go to Ikea she was ready in like 15 minutes. We went through the whole store and got swedish meatballs. We also went to Target then chilled at my apartment watching movies.

Thursday for Thanksgiving, the first counselor in my bishopric had invited some of us over so Lexi, Sam, James, Josie, Alissa and I went and had a yummy meal with his family. It was nice to hang out and not have to worry about making any food. They sent us home with some leftovers so I now have some turkey and rainbow jello in my fridge :) Lexi ended up taking a 3 hour nap after we got back and I ended up taking a nap also (at like 9 haha).

Friday, we did homework until we went to Carley and Paul's wedding reception. They looked so happy and their reception was very pretty.

Lucky for us, I still had window crayons in my car so Lauren, Mary and I wrote on their car windows :) Afterwards, Lexi and I went over to B1223 (the place I'm moving into) and Lauren, Amelia and I put together my little Charlie Brown christmas tree while watching a movie.

Saturday we got up a little earlier, picked up Ellyn and her cousin, and met Lauren, Amelia, and her sister Katy for breakfast a Denny's. It was Lexi's early birthday gift.

Then Lexi and I went back to my apartment and did homework until Lexi convinced me to make tacos. That night, Lauren invited us to go with her to carol at an old folks home. Lexi decided to stay behind and work on homework but I decided that I needed a break so I went along. We met up with some other people from institute and had fun singing Christmas songs to the residents of the home we went to. Most of them go to bed around 8 so we left shortly after that and decided to stop for ice cream at McDonalds.

Yesterday I woke up feeling really yucky and not feeling good at all so that wasn't fun but I still managed to make it through the day. It was a typical Sunday that I'm not at home very much. I went to my 2 meetings before church, picked Lexi up for church, then shortly after church was over, she left and I went back to the church for tithing settlement. I woke up feeling really yucky and not feeling good at all so that wasn't fun but I still managed to make it through the day. Aubrey got back from going home and we ended up talking for a couple hours until I went home, took Nyquil and went to bed around midnight.

I woke up at noon today still not feeling well but I haven't taken any meds today and am feeling better than yesterday. I hope this cold goes away as fast as it came (I felt fine Saturday but it hit out of no where on Sunday). I haven't really done anything today except talked to Brittney and Carli and chilled in my pjs in bed. Tonight for fhe we're going to bishops house for food and games. I'm gonna take some meds and hope that I feel better.

Well that's what happened this week! I plan to post weekly so it shouldn't be another 5 months till I post again haha.

Life in the Fast Lane

Wow it's been a long time since I posted. I've been so busy that I haven't even had the chance to post. So here's an update!

At the end of April, I got called to be the Relief Society president in my ward. 2 weeks later, I moved into a new apartment with 2 girls that I know and get along with great. I love it here. It is so much better than I was in before. School started a few days after I moved in here and I've been continuing to work a bunch so with all of that, I've been very busy. I'm doing block classes (an entire class in half a semester) because there weren't any full semester classes available. I had 3 classes (6 credits) first block and started with 2 classes (7 credits) but dropped my geology class cuz I couldn't handle that and spanish. It cut down on my stress a lot.

About 2 weeks ago I made the decision to stay here in Orem instead of going back up to Idaho. I am transferring from BYUI to UVU and will finish here. I was getting really stressed about going back up there for multiple reasons. I couldn't register until after I completed classes at UVU and got my credits transferred. I tried to get housing but I was ineligible for approved housing since I was on suspension. Most of my friends are graduating in a week so I would have to start over when I went back. I was going going to be going back and forth between Orem and Idaho. When I thought about it, it just made sense to stay here. I made the decision and prayed about it and this is where I'm supposed to be. As soon as that decision was made, the stress went away. I'm excited to see what happens in my life here :) I registered for a few classes but now I just have to wait for my credits to transfer to register for my other class (it has a prerequisite that will be covered from one of my transferring classes).

Well that's basically my life right now. I'll try to post again soon and not have it be another 4 months haha.

Weekend with Maddie

This weekend was awesome!! Spent almost the entire Saturday and Sunday with my friend Maddie. We had a blast.

Saturday:
The stake Relief Society presidency put together a morningside and luncheon to celebrate the Relief Society organization's birthday and to put a close to our Honduras service project (collected gently used ties and new white shirts for missionaries). They showed a video where they showed pictures from service groups in Honduras. Then we ate some really yummy salad.

Next! Went back to Maddie's place so she could get changed for the Holi Color Festival! It was sooo much fun! The weather was nice (didn't even have to wear a jacket). So here is how the Color Festival works :)

Make sure that your car is prepared to be colored in chalk

You dress in white and walk up a huge hill

You see other people covered in color and get even more excited

People are super nice and offer to give you a ride up the last 1/4 of the major hill

As soon as you get out of this nice lady's car, you get pegged by kids leaving

You get bags of color and protect your nose and mouth

You protect your camera in a method of your choosing (mine was a ziploc bag hence the blurry-ness)

And run into friends! (this is Marty, my home teacher)

You have fun throwing color at people and having people throw color at you.

After a count-down and everyone throws color at the same time (causing a major fog of color), you are completely covered in color!

Then you walk down the major hill and cuz you are still tired from walking up it you take lots of breaks where you discover that the color all over your face brings out the color of your eyes

Then you get back to the car and take another picture because you had so much fun but are super tired from walking down the major hill

Next! (No, we are not finished for Saturday haha). We had a huge group date at our 1st counselor's house. We played signs, ate spaghetti, played Guesstures, then some of us decided that they wanted to leave cuz we had an early morning meeting the next day. It was fun. I have a few pictures but they are on my camera still and they were just pictures of people there.

Sunday:

Early stake leadership meeting (8:00 meeting). Then church where our beloved 2nd counselor in the bishopric was released. It was an emotional time for many of us but we are looking forward to getting to know our new 2nd counselor. It was also emotional because it was the last Sunday in our building. The stakes in all of Orem are being re-organized so our ward is moving stakes and going to be at the building up the street from our complex.

Monday: (I know it's not the weekend but it was still exciting)

Me, the chicken who hates needles, was brave enough to try to donate blood for the 3rd time! Last summer I found out that I could donate blood so when I went to donate, they turned me away cuz they were full. This past fall I got sick just days before the donation so I couldn't donate. This time, I wasn't sick and was determined to donate. I was super nervous though (refer to earlier when I said I hate needles). I knew though, that once I got the first donation done I would be fine for future donations. I was super prepared though because I drank OJ all day yesterday and had Maddie (my support buddy for donating) pick me up in case I got dizzy and couldn't drive. We almost got turned away because there was a huge line but they said to come back for our appointment time and they'd see if we could get in. We went back and there was no line! Maddie decided to also donate for the first time :) She was just ahead of me in line and was perfectly fine. I passed the initial test (with the finger prick) then went to donate. The needle part wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. The guy drawing my blood was super patient with me being that it was my first time and I was nervous. He said I had excellent veins and was a fast bleeder though :) Anyways, I was almost done when I realized that the ceiling wasn't quite looking normal and my hearing started to go funny. I told them and they got me a bottle of water and I started feeling fine again. He had me lay on the chair for a little longer than normal to be sure I'd be ok. It was funny though because he told me no extraneous activity. I was like "what about going to my apartment and the stairs to get there." He laughed and just said to have someone go with me up the stairs to be sure I'd make it. I even let Maddie walk behind me despite the fact that I always have everyone go in front of me. I'm all good now (got a good nights sleep and have been drinking juice this morning). I am totally ready to donate again and maybe I won't almost pass out next time.

Proof!

This weekend was the best weekend I've had in a while :) I have so many good friends in my life and I don't know what I would do without them. Love you all!! :D

At Wits End

I can't take this anymore. One of my roommates and I got into a major fight last night. Like full on yelling fight. I'm not proud of it at all; that hasn't happened in years. After a while she wanted to talk but I wasn't ready. I know myself; I wouldn't have really listened cuz I was still very upset. I told her that we'd have to wait to talk until I as calm. I already didn't feel comfortable here but now it's worse. I don't even want to be here at all. I've been in my room all morning except to go to the bathroom. I have tried to be patient but I have run out of patience. I just want out. One more month...

Update and Good News

I know it's been FOREVER since I posted. I kinda gave up on the post a picture a day thing and nothing really exciting was happening. Then my plans took a U-turn and I have a lot to catch you guys up on!

So, as far as my mission goes, I'm not going to go on an official mission. I'm only a little disappointed about that cuz I think it'd be awesome to go but I feel good about the decision not to go. I don't really want to elaborate on why. If you really wanna know, ask and I might tell you :)

(By the way, I already wrote this next paragraph but then my browser froze and I had to restart it and it hadn't saved so I am having to re-write it :-/ )
Now just because I'm not going on a mission, does not mean that I have no plans for my life. Quite the opposite! I am going to go to UVU this summer! Then this fall I am going to go back to BYUI. I already talked to the people up in Rexburg and they said that as long as school this semester at UVU goes well then I'm good to go back up. I'll be cutting it close though cuz I can't petition to go back until I get the grades from this summer. I figure that since the classes I'm taking this fall are upper level classes, I can probably talk to the teachers and get in (I know most of the teachers anyway hehe). I'm starting to look at housing now though cuz other wise I'm not going to find anything. My only issue now is to find somewhere where they'll let me bring my hermit crabs hehe. I'm going to send out a mass email to housing that I'm interested in and see if any of them will let me (besides, they are no problem whatsoever; fish can pose a water damage issue). It's funny though cuz I go: Summer 2011-Orem, Fall 2011-Rexburg, Winter 2012-Orem, Spring 2012-Rexburg, Summer and Fall 2012-Orem. Since I'm off track for Winter semester I'll come back here then after Spring 2012 I'll be student teaching back in Utah so I'll come back then too. This fall will be bitter sweet though cuz a lot of my Rexburg friends will be gone by this fall and I've made a lot of friends here in Orem. I'll make more friends up there and it'll be good for me but still. I'm excited though!

My roommate situation right now is, to put it lightly, sucky! I feel like they don't like me and are bothered by me but they don't talk to me about it. I feel like we're just living together and tolerating one another rather than being friends and being more than just girls assigned to an apartment together. I'm tired of living in a situation like this. Conveniently, my Relief Society president is going home for the summer but is coming back for the fall. We talked to the management and they are going to let me transfer up to the complex next door to where I live now (which is owned by the same people) and take over her contract for the summer. She would like to move back into the same apartment that she's in now when she comes back this fall and I'm leaving this fall so it's a win-win situation for both of us (except that all of us here will miss her!).

On a brighter note, I'm happy with the decisions that I've made in my life most recently and I feel good about them. I know that I'm on the right track to being where I need to be. I'm not there yet, I know I have things that I need to work on, but I'm getting there.

I know that I said I wasn't going to talk about Stuart on this blog, but this is good news. Besides, I can't just pretend that he wasn't a part of my life because he was and I've learned so much from that whole experience. I do know now, that I'm over him. I drove by his apartment complex last week and it didn't hurt at all. I didn't look for his car like every other time I have driven by it (old habit I had to break). I have forgiven him for what he did to me, but it doesn't hurt anymore. I am ready to move on in my life and find my true eternal companion. I know that he's out there and I am patiently searching for him. In order to find him though, I have to date and I am ready for it! Bring it on! :D

PS. I have recently found this song that I listen to probably too much but I love it. It's called The Ping Pong Song (Do You Know) by Enrique Inglesias. The chorus goes "Do you know what it feels like loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away?" That's how I feel that Stuart felt about me. Not the whole song, but just parts. He didn't care and just threw me away. But I'm back and ready for the game of life again :)

In a Funk

I'm really feeling weird yesterday and today. I just feel in a funk. I feel alone. Almost all of my very good friends are far away; some within a few hours away and some across the country. I get up, try to be productive until I go to work, I work, then up for a couple hours before going to bed. The only social experiences I have are FHE and church but those are both at the beginning of the week. I just feel like I don't have anyone here even though I do have friends here. I try to get out but then I just feel like a burden. This is a really short post but that is how I'm feeling. I don't know what to do to get out of this funk I'm in.

Strictly Venting

I have so much on my mind right now so I'm just gonna go for it.

First: I love going to FHE. I schedule work so that I can get off in time to make it there on time. But lately it just isn't so fun. We never know what is going on. I'm a group leader and I'm not ever told what is going on and I find out that I have to plan an activity for the next day. When it is groups, I never know how many are going to be there because it's very unpredictable. My group is currently the only functioning group so people hear that it is groups and they don't know where to go but hear about my group so they show up. I don't mind because the more the merrier but I just never know how many to plan for. Also, my partner is MIA (I haven't seen him since our first group activity and that was back in November). They're working on fixing that problem but I hope they get it figured out soon. Yesterday, I had no idea what FHE today was going to be so I asked both of the co-chairs and neither of them knew. One of them decided to do a ward FHE (which I was totally ok with cuz I had no idea what activity I would have done). He was fresh out of ideas for activities though so he was brainstorming with people.  I didn't have any activity ideas, but I did ask for it to be something that I can do (we've been having sport activities and they've been sports that I can't do). Well, when I got to our pre-determined meeting place tonight, I found out that we were gonna play ultimate frisbee and then capture the flag. I was a little upset but I went anyway because I like to support FHE and they needed people to drive to the park. I ended up watching and freezing. By the time we left, I seriously couldn't feel my feet because they were so cold. The FHE co-chair said that he wasn't creative enough to come up with something I could do. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes, it does.

Next: I love to serve. I really do. It makes me happy knowing that I helped someone, especially when I serve my friends. I enjoy going out of my way to help people. Sometimes though, I think that I go out of my way enough that I come off too strong. I just get this vibe sometimes after I go out of my way to help someone. I get this feeling that they are thinking "Wow...you are trying way too hard. You really need to back off." Then I feel worse not better. I just don't know what to do about it. This isn't just a one time thing. It's happened several times.

Next: I love that I have the blessing to be able to walk. I really do consider it a blessing because without my braces and crutches I wouldn't be able to walk at all. I usually have this view but sometimes I falter and just can't be strong anymore. I have my down days where it catches up with me. Sometimes I honestly just don't want to put my braces on because they feel restrictive (which is ironic seeming as they provide me with freedom but that's how it feels).  These down days usually happen only about once a month or longer but lately they've been more frequent. I've had several down days the past month. I think the combination of having had a broken brace for a year, and the knowledge of what I used to be able to do and now can't are just getting to me. I'm not giving up at all, it is just taking more effort to be positive than it used to. Please don't take this section as me not being appreciative for what I have right now because I really do enjoy the time that I have being able to walk. There's just times where I wish I could do more than I can.

Next: I'm struggling to get along with one of my roommates. I have wanted to talk to her about it but she doesn't usually understand what I am saying because her english is her second language and she still doesn't know it very well. Tonight we actually tried to talk it out but I don't think we were actually on the same page. See, the thing that bothers me is when I am in the living room/kitchen area alone and I am either watching or listening to something on my computer without headphones (I'm alone in the rooms and it's not very loud) or I'm watching something on the tv (again, not very loud and no one else is in the rooms) and she comes out and turns her music or show on without headphones. Typically, this is when you say well what if I was in the other person's shoes. So, if I was in her position, and my roommate had a show or music playing when I came into the public room, I would either ask if they could put headphones in (while I myself put my headphones in) or I would just put my headphones in because that other person was in the room first. That is just how things have always been in every living situation I've been in. Just common courtesy. It's just a little petty thing I know. She also kicked me out of the living room one time because she was having friends over for dinner and she said I couldn't be out there. It was just the way it went down that it bothered me. I'm just trying to figure out how to talk to her about it because I don't know how. Tonight was not a good time for us to talk about it though because I really wasn't in a good mood so now I feel bad.

Ok I'm done venting. I know it doesn't solve anything (I'm still working on that) but I do feel a little better just getting it out.

PS. I know that I'm behind on my daily picture posts. I have pics from some of the days I've missed, I just haven't gotten them posted and am not really in the mood tonight.

Personal Challenge Day 10

I almost forgot to post again! So I made breakfast this morning and was working on other things while eating it and didn't clean up for a few hours. This was the result:

No, that is not the floor, that is my ceiling (camera under pan)

My cream of wheat defined gravity! Haha. It came out no problem, but I thought it was a funny picture :)

Personal Challenge Day 9-some people prove their idiocrisy through their actions...

I almost forgot to post tonight! I went to pick up a friend from the library (it was 11:30 and really cold with the wind) and when I got back I was like time for bed then was like wait I gotta post! I took a picture especially to post about today and everything.

See the lines under this car? Ya, they were parked illegally right between 2 handicap spots that had cars parked there (one is mine-it's my own personal parking spot haha. Not technically but I'm one of the few that can actually park there). Anyway...I went to leave work and I was like uh...that is not ok! See, in the bottom left corner of the picture is a white thing which is my car. She was parked so close to my car and it was hard for me to actually get to and then into my car. She came out while I was getting in and was like sorry and I was just like uh...ya...this isn't really a parking spot... and she was just like I realized that now sorry. I was just thinking do you not look at the ground before you park? There was a reason that no one was parked right there right in front of the doors. That in and of itself is a reason to suspect that something is wrong with that spot. Some people just need to pay more attention. Ok I'm done venting :) Night!